


you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid

by da_vinky



Series: jupeter bar au [1]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Other, POV Juno Steel, bar! au, both of them are cocky and obnoxious, its a match made in heaven!, juno is a bartender, juno steel has a thing for hands, literally just fluff, no betas we die like m'tendere, nureyev has just broken up with someone, peter nureyev is scary and it works, this is basically a romcom, this time neither of them need hugs!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:27:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27000460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/da_vinky/pseuds/da_vinky
Summary: The stranger sits down at the bar, looking at the seat like he’d rather have put a towel down first. I walk over without being called.As I move closer, the lights shift, throwing his face into sharp contrast.Shit. He’s really hot.---or: an AU where Juno is a bartender and Peter walks into the bar.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Series: jupeter bar au [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2012692
Comments: 14
Kudos: 83





	you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from a piece of among us fanart i found on instagram. i know i know but it just got to me ok 
> 
> cw for drinking because they are in a bar! also a really quick allusion to juno having bad past relationships

Friday nights are the worst. 

Look, shout at me all you want, but you clearly haven’t worked the closing shift in a late-night bar before. Drunk people are the worst, especially when they know they have two more days ahead of them to get even drunker. And yeah, I am including myself in that number. 

The only thing worse than Friday nights are Saturdays, because by then everyone has stopped drinking to celebrate and started to drink to forget. I got out of that shift by the skin on my teeth, but fate is a double-edged sword, and I got stuck with Fridays instead. Hey, beggars can’t be choosers, I guess. 

One thing going for Fridays is that you don’t get bothered a whole lot. The sad drunks won’t come out of their dens until the next night, so all you get is the noise of people with their friends and families. Great time to work on hobbies. Knitted a whole scarf one shift. And so when someone walks in, alone, and doesn’t immediately gravitate towards a table? My attention is piqued. 

The stranger sits down at the bar, looking at the seat like he’d rather have put a towel down first. I walk over without being called. 

As I move closer, the lights shift, throwing his face into sharp contrast. 

Shit. He’s  _ really  _ hot. 

He wears an easy grin, the kind you can only get from years of practice. His eyes dart around almost like he’s searching for an escape route, but the rest of his body doesn’t betray any intention to bolt. He’s calm, collected, relaxed… Well, as much as he can be in this loud ass bar. His hands are long and slender, impeccably manicured fingers folded in front of him, sharp teeth poking over his lip, black hair slicked back carefully. It looks like he could kill you and never dislodge even a hair. And honestly… It made me wonder what else he could do without getting ruffled, if you catch my meaning. 

“What can I help with you tonight, sir?” I ask, shaking myself out of my thoughts as I prop myself up on the bar by my elbows. 

“Ah, good evening. I’ll have your finest scotch, neat.” His voice matches the rest of him, polished and posh. It makes me shiver. 

“Celebrating something, are we?” I tease, turning to pour him his drink. 

“One could say that.” 

“Huh, very mysterious. Where’s your partner? Guy like you has gotta have one.” Okay, so what if I’m being a little forward? He’s either single or he isn’t, better to find out before I go getting attached. 

He just winks at me. “What’s your name, darling?” 

“Juno Steel. And yours?”

“A gorgeous name for a gorgeous lady, if you don’t mind my cliche. I’m Peter Nureyev.” He grins, showing off those… really sharp teeth. I’d noticed before, but damn… A second too late, I hold out a hand for him to shake. My chipped nail polish looks childish next to his dangerous-looking manicure, but I’m too distracted by his strong grip to lose any sleep over it. 

“Where are you from, then, Peter Nureyev?” I hum, pulling a stool around the bar so I can sit opposite him. 

“Oh, a bit of everywhere. I’ve never settled down anywhere for too long, three months maximum. Although, here seems quite a bit nicer than most of my other stops.” 

“So, what are you running from?” 

“Bold of you to assume I’m not the one chasing.” 

I raise my eyebrows, impressed, and drop the subject. He might be hot, but I still don’t want to end up on his kill list. He seems like he might actually do it. 

“Tell me, Juno, what do you think of Hyperion? Should I finally settle down?” 

“Eesh, Hyperion City isn’t most people’s first choice for a relaxing retirement. Sure, it looks all shiny and new, but soon as you get close something tries to stab you.” 

“I can deal with stabbings. I’ve had experience.” Nureyev smirks, wrinkling his nose at me teasingly. I can’t tell if he’s kidding or not… 

“I don’t doubt it…”

“But you seem to enjoy it, since you live here?” He says, backtracking over the stabbings like it was a normal thing to say. 

“What, you’ve never gotten stuck somewhere? I was born here, and I guess I just got sucked in. I’ve had this job since I was 20.” I scoff, absently wiping away a drop of water and tossing the towel over my shoulder. 

“I guess you’re right. How old are you now, then?” 

“It’s rude to ask a lady’s age, Nureyev. You seem like someone who should know that…” 

Down the bar, someone waves to get my attention. I look over, and it’s a gaggle of drunk girls. They can stand to wait another few minutes, right? 

“My apologies, dear.” He follows my gaze and sees them too. “I don’t mean to take up too much of your time, Juno, no matter how pleasant your company…” 

“You’re not taking my time, I’m giving it.” I tell him, standing up and unwinding my apron from around my waist. “I’m going on break!” I yell to the back room, not really caring whether they heard me or not. A minute later, I’m sitting in the seat next to him. He’s tall, taller than he seemed from behind the bar. His legs are all folded up under him. 

“Hello there.” Peter teases, finishing his drink and setting it down in front of him. “Terrible time for you to go on break, really.” 

“Shut up. And hey, you never answered my question about your partner!”

“Well, that’s why I’m here tonight, actually. I just ended a five year relationship.” Nureyev says, grinning. 

“Uhh. I’m… Sorry?” 

“Don’t be. I’ve been needing to make that decision for a while now, honestly.” He sighs, that permanent knowing smile settling back onto his face. He really doesn’t seem upset about this at all… 

“Why did you end it? If it’s not too personal.” 

“You’ve already gotten pretty personal with me tonight, darling, it’s not like this crosses a line. I ended it simply because she was so… Bland. All her decisions were made for her, she was just told where to spend her money and then she did. I’m also fairly certain she was cheating on me. A lot. She wasn’t really even trying to hide it…” 

“Jesus, Nureyev… That really sucks.” I wince, patting his arm very awkwardly. How the hell do you comfort people, and why is he now laughing at me?!

“Juno, it’s alright!” He chuckles, covering my hand with his own. “She was only in it for the drama. We met at a charity auction and she told me she loved me the same night. Onstage, in front of everyone. I have to admit, one of the only reasons I stuck it out as long as I did was because she truly was very lenient with her money…” 

“Oh. Good?” I’m not sure what to say here. “I know a thing or two about bad relationships, so I get where you’re coming from. My last partner… You don’t want to hear it. That’s a story for another day, I think.” I shake my head. 

“You say that as if we’ll see each other again, sweetheart.”

“Well, would you like to see each other again?” I ask, cocking a brow. 

“I thought you’d never ask! Although next time, why don’t we try and find sometime when you’re not supposed to be working, hm?” He adds, and I look past him to see a mess of people at the bar. Looks like they didn’t send out anyone to replace me… 

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry, Nureyev, I should probably go back to work. Like I said, I’ve had this job since I was 20 and I have no interest in losing it now.” I wince, throwing my apron back on and rounding the bar once more. 

“I can wait until your shift is done…?” He asks, sliding a finger over the rim of his glass and looking up at me through hooded eyes. How the hell do you say no to that? 

“I’m done at 12.” I reply, pouring him another drink without even thinking about it before moving on to the rest of the mob. 

True to his word, he stays until the bar closes, and conveniently forgets to pay his tab. 

God, he’s lucky he’s hot. 

**Author's Note:**

> just so you know peter's ex is nova zolotovna. just for fun :) 
> 
> please comment!!!! i am adrift on a raft at sea and every comment is a push closer to land. pls dont let me float out here forever


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